Being told I had diabetes was probably the worst moment of my life to this point - I think I actually went into shock for a few minutes. I tried to argue with the doctor because who loses 50-60 pounds and eats right and works out hard for a year and then develops diabetes? I mean, that just does not happen - but it apparently does... I spent a lot of that day crying and feeling sorry for myself. Who am I kidding? I spent the next few days feeling sorry for myself. Then I decided that I was going to be okay - I would diet and exercise even more and even better and I would beat this thing. Well, once again, the unthinkable happened! They come back and tell me that I am type 1 and will always have to take insulin. Now I have spent many days feeling sorry for myself and crying.
I still cannot help but think that this is so unfair and that it should not have happened to me! That's what I was dieting and exercising for in the first place. Sure it is fun to wear a smaller size in clothes and to feel like I am looking good when I go out, but my most important motivating factor was definitely my health. Now it seems like what is the point?
Well, the point is that I can control this with diet and exercise and taking my medications properly. I can not develop heart disease and strokes and blindness and I do not have to have my limbs amputated. The point is that I need to be a role model for others to hopefully prevent them from going through this same thing. I just have to remember that in order to get through this right now.
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